Part Six - The lonely way back home

Part Six - The lonely way back home

I thought it was all a storm in a teacup but what could I say? I'm not the easy-going person I wish I were sometimes, besides I really couldn't explore him like that, he was trying to be so nice to me but someday he'd definitely throw it back at me... Or so I thought. We drove half the way in silence. It was so quiet and I didn't have any sound system in my old car which made this silence unbearable. He was a little mad but I could feel the tension vanishing from him as we were getting closer to the pier. I felt I had to do something. If Mr. Ethan Hawke is just as stubborn as myself none of us would even try to fix this situation, ever! So I had to act, quickly. Taking a deep breath as I parked the car turning the engine off and before he'd say anything, I did.

-Okay, sorry about that, can I actually use some of your kindness?

I looked at him completely ashamed of what I made him feel like. The man was really a kind person and I should never doubt about his intentions, at all. He opened his mouth showing he was about to say something but I went on with my little speech after sitting on my legs to look into his eyes properly.

-Wait... Let me continue. I really feel bad for that and you should know that I have this tendency to be suspicious about any and every form of nice gesture any man shows me, you know? I've been the... tough one, from day one and I can't even tell you how many times all these incredible men that showed in my life wanted to kill me for that! I didn't want to make you feel uneasy or... uptight, but that's how I react. But a reaction ain't quite the most... honest thing that could come from me, you know? I can be myself, I, I could really be myself with you, I just gotta know you better, you see?

He was paying attention to every single thing I was saying. He was practically laying on this old Chevy passenger seat, scratching his forehead and following every word I'd say, following each different look in my face and that made me feel comfortable enough to trust him. Now I could say that, I trusted him.

-I know it won't change things but I want you to know I now... trust you.

Silence.

Now I was silent because I ran out of beautiful and touching things to say and because the emotional me that was on had suddenly switched off leaving me with these confusing thoughts that were so familiar and now were about to crush my confidence once again. Ethan was still looking to me, following each movement, each different thing that would happen to my facial features. He wasn't missing a thing.

Suddenly he looked away and that forced me to look away as well. He turned back at me again and fixed the way he was sitting, trying to find a position which made him get closer to me, then he said:

-Iris, come on... It's okay. I think I know what you're saying, but sometimes you gotta just take it easy you know. No one will ever harm you if you don't want them to, you know?

-Yes...
-Just let me do this one thing right for you, you'll see I'm a nice guy, okay?
-Sure...
-Alright then. Here, you'll take my cellphone and you'll call your dad. Quickly because they're probably leaving by now. Do it.

He handed me the phone and I called the airplane company. I finally could speak to my father, telling him he should wait for a guy not me when he finally arrived L.A. airport. He was a bit confused but I told him we should be quick in our chat, after all I didn't want to abuse Ethan's kindness...

I gave the phone back to him and thanked him for that.

-Now I have this amazing story to tell my grandchildren...
-What story?
-The one of this beautiful Hollywood hunk being such a gentleman in such a lonely night as this.
-It wasn't lonely at all, was it?
-Nah.
-It was great. We had quite a laugh in the airport.
-We did. And I had many moral lessons from you!
-Oh Iris! After all I'm older! Let me feel like the responsible dumb ass just for tonight...
-You definitely are.
-Well, you're saying that because you don't really know me.
-Ay... I knew it! You see?
-What?
-I gotta know you better!
-You sure have to.

We both stopped talking and looked away, couldn't face each other any longer. It was late and he finally got his stuff and opened the door stepping out of the car. I went out as well, to say good-bye walking towards him. He pulled me closer holding me and we stayed there for a few seconds. These were the moments I could ask to last a bit longer. By the time we were done, he said bye bye and walked to his car.

I stayed there watching him walking slowly, opening the door and sitting, but it didn't take too long for him to get out again and call my name.

-Iris! Wait. I don't know where I have to take your father tomorrow morning!
-Oh, it's true! Let me write my address to you.

I got a piece of paper from my notebook and wrote my address to him, my phone number and the name of my roommate in case he needed to talk to me and couldn't find me.

-Here it is. I'll leave my spare keys with you so you can give them to my father when you bring him home, okay?
-Now you're trusting me way too much! Ha!
-See? I'm getting better at this. Now, don't you think that all the mess from the condo is mine! My roommate, Freddy is the messy one!
-Freddy... What's his last name?
-Belden. He's British but has lived in L.A. almost his entire life. He's a bit older than me.
-I know that guy. He's good friends with a huge friend of mine, Bob. The one that owns the house you were in the New Year's eve.
-Wow! I didn't know that... But now that you said it, it's all making sense to me...
-What's making sense?
-He gave me your phone number!
-He did? Why? You asked for it?
-No, I did not! He saw us talking that night and he thought it would be a nice gesture, I guess. To bring us closer.

He smiled and put the keys and paper inside his pocket and spoke again.

-Well, now I really must leave.
-Yep, go ahead and thank you again for everything.
-You're more than welcome, go inside your car, I'll wait for you like a gentleman.
-Okay, okay.

I went in, shut the door and waved to him. He went to his car and I left. The way back home was so cold and lonely but I felt better than ever and had all these things to tell him that were stuck in my throat, things that he'd perhaps love to hear. I wish I only had the guts.

Got home and Freddy was already sleeping tight. I went to my bed and didn't even change my clothes.

*pic from here

Part Five - So now what?

Part Five - So now what?

It was about ten o'clock and we were hushing into the airport so I could pick my daddy up. It was a Thursday night and I thought the airport would be half empty but it was packed. Lots of flights coming from Europe were late. Something about the strange weather in the Barcelona area that made more than thirty flying machines wait for the right moment to take off. We both got there out of breath and sweaty! Didn't expect that delay.

-That's what happens when you don't have a sound system in you car that tunes radio stations... You never know what's going on!

The worry about my father had become a ticking bomb, didn't feel like having any moral lessons from Ethan.

-You know what... I have to know what's going on because I had no idea it'd happen, could you please stay quiet?

He opened his eyes in shock moving away from me as I passed with some difficulty amongst the hundreds of people waiting everywhere for their late flights. I turned back and yelled at him to stay there that I'd be back in a moment. He just heard me and leaned over the cafe counter. I reached the airlines desk and asked if the flight my father was supposed to catch was late or if it was still in Spain, the mindless receptionist was taking to long to check the flight and I was getting more worried about Ethan waiting me that about my father really. It wasn't the first time he was giving me a bad time and surely wouldn't be the last time. At least the guy found out that the flight my father was getting on hadn't left Barcelona yet. I took a deep breath and asked how long would it be, sincerely, for the flight to make it.

-I'm sorry miss, probably around tomorrow morning!
-Tomorrow morning!?

I was so mad! I had to work tomorrow morning! How was I supposed to tell my dad I wasn't picking him up? He'd have a heart attack! Noticing my exhilaration Ethan walked to me and tried to catch on our little argument.

-Sir, do you know how my father is? Do you have ANY idea on what he's capable of doing if he doesn't find me here tomorrow morning? I work tomorrow morning! This stinks!
-Wait up, Iris, I can get your dad tomorrow morning...
-I didn't finish, Ethan! Sir, would you PLEASE get me a way to contact my father, a telephone number, anything. He's such a pig head he never wanted a cell phone... You WHAT Ethan?

In the middle of my crude words I could barely understand what Ethan had just proposed. He was being such a gentile and delicate person, as a good old Brazilian gal I was getting suspicious.

- I said I can pick you father tomorrow morning. If you plan on keeping your job anyway.

I was shocked by his words and I needed some time to think. The receptionist was overwhelmed by all the demands everyone around him and having a big glass of water he asked me if he still needed the telephone number so I could reach my dad. Quickly and deadly I answered:

-Of course I want it! Fast!

Ethan started laughing and making me feel uncomfortably warm. I wanted to laugh with him, my hands were shaking and I had never seen so many people in the airport like that before...

-What are you laughing at... Stop it!

I was saying over and over again, - Stop! Stop it Ethan! STOP! - but it didn't matter he would just laugh harder holding himself to the counter so he wouldn't fall off from such an urge to laugh at me. By then I started to laugh just as hard as him and we both kept laughing. The receptionist came back with the number written down in a small piece of paper with the name of the person I was supposed to talk with but he just couldn't talk to us, we were still laughing... Angry he inserted the small paper inside Ethan's pocket in his black jacket and left. Just to make things worse Ethan started to mimic the poor guy catching everybody else's attention. His name was being whispered throughout the corridors, "isn't that the Hollywood actor?", "Ethan... Hawke, right?" bla bla bla.... It sopped being funny. We looked to each other and without a word went back to the parking lot, afraid someone would follow us asking for his autograph.

Inside the car I started the engine wiping the tears off of my eyes since I had put my loins out from so much laughter. Ethan didn't fasten the passenger's seat belt and I couldn't miss the joke.

-Don't you dare risk yourself like that! Who said I'm that good at driving this piece of metal?
-Ay, let me be fast or you'll kill me just like you almost did with that poor receptionist!
-Yeah, I'll give you a heart attack!
-Yeah yeah... weren't you supposed to call your dad now?
-Yes I'm but I can't afford this call... Must get home to reach him.
-No, no, call him with my cell phone, go ahead.
-What? No, Ethan. You've done too much for me already.
-I have not. Just do it okay?
-I won't.
-Iris!
-No.
-I'm fucking telling you to do it! It will be too late, how will he know I'm picking him up tomorrow?
-You're not picking him up tomorrow.
-I thought you had agreed on that!
-What? No I haven't.
-So how will you do it? huh? Tell me.
-I don't know...
-Iris.
-What?
-Stop the car.
-What?
-Would you please stop the car?

We were getting in the highway and pulled over. He was obviously a little angry but I couldn't just accept everything he wanted me to, I couldn't let him do things for me like that, it wasn't like we were old time buddies and all.

-What do you want, Ethan?
-I want you to please accept these things.
-What can I do? I can't abuse you!
-You're not doing that.
-Wait, Ethan. Look, you're a famous guy and all, right?
-So?
-If I just go ahead and accept all these nice things you're doing to me people will say I'm a... a... how can I call it?
-A what for crissakes?
-A beggar!
-WHAT?
-Yeah, I don't want anyone thinking I'm using you. You don't know me! How come you want to pick my daddy at the airport? Only, friends or lovers do that!
-So, what do you need? A friends proposal? A signed contract?
-No!
-Why would you care with what everybody thinks? You left that party because you hated the snobby shit people that were hanging there, why would my so called-fame bother you? I don't get it, Iris!
-It's not bothering me...
-It is! And you know, you're right! Just leave me where you found me, we don't even need to exchange phone numbers anymore.
-What?
-You heard me, I'm the one that's not willing to help you any longer. I didn't know it was hard for one to believe I'm a decent guy.
-I believe in you, Ethan!
-It seems like every goddamn woman I bump into is a suspicious minded little girl. All you women are little girls.... Can't stand that. Bad night to go out anyways.

We both kept in silence for a while. Wasn't expecting that reaction coming from him just like he probably wasn't expecting the reaction I had prior. He was mad and i was sorry but there was nothing I could do.

-Won't you fucking turn the engine on? Do you want me to drive?

I just drove off and thought to myself, "so now what?"....

Part Four - Chatting and walking...

Part Four - Chatting and Walking

As it got late we still walked and talked feeling like there was no one watching us. We were just two newly found friends, pretending to be light and cheerful. The night was warm, our minds empty and our hearts filled with a different type of joy... That one that is unexpected. We stopped by an ice cream shop and ordered, mine was a mix with mint chocolate chip and vanilla, plain and simple. He asked for strawberry ice cream loaded with strawberries...

-Well, I don't know anything about you, Iris. I know you don't like to read!

-What? Of course I love to read! I'm a journalist, sweetie!
-I don't think you do! If you did you wouldn't read MY book!
-You think that!? I loved your book, Ethan!
-You did NOT!
-I did! Who do you think you are to tell me I didn't?
-I'm the one who's written it!
-Ha! See!? You don't know a thing...
-See!? You didn't like it!
-Don't do that...
-What? you just said it...
-I said what?
-That I don't know a thing! You didn't like what I wrote!
-Quit it... Can't beat you!
-I know you can't... Cause I'm not only a nice, handsome, old-school actor slash writer... I'm a fucking awesome humane sucker!
-You're the sensitive type... Right?
-Wrong! I'm the tough kiddo that you don't wanna mess with...
-Oh! You don't fool me!
-I don't?
-Nope!
-Damn it!
-Want some more ice cream?
-No... Want some coffee?
-Yeah!
-Come on, let's get some...
-Where?
-I know a place...
-"I know a place..."
-You'll start to mock me now?
-No! I'm not mocking you! I just think this sentence sucks!
-Why?
-It's funny...
-But why it sucks?
-I... I, I don't know! It's too movie-like!
-I don't know what you mean! It's probably something that if I was Brazilian I would get!
-Mmm, might be, but I don't even know what I mean!
-Oh, so you're just weird then?
-Probably!

We got to this nice cafe and pulled a chair for me to sit in a table that was outside. The breeze was nice, it messed with my hair but I didn't mind at all. As I watched the people up and down he picked his cool zippo lighting the cigarette that was tight between his deep red lips. I noticed his big hands, the nice jacket he was wearing and the old shirt that was beneath it. It was light yellow and it looked as if he had picked it in the store at random! My eyes were wondering and I noticed my heart beating faster.

-Do you mind if I smoke?
-Of course not! Go ahead.
-Would you care for some?
-No, I don't smoke.
-Ay ay, those non-smokers! Did you know that is actually proved that smokers live longer?
-Oh really! How's that possible?
-Well, we smoking creatures have the lungs to outlive you all, non-smokers! We've evolved!
-Lucky you!
-Yeah, yeah...
-I wanna live a short life... Nothing too great.
-Don't say that! You know I was kidding right?
-Sure I do... Are we ordering anything?
-Yes, mmm wait up!
-Well, I just want a latte, please. A big one!

Ethan gently asked for the menu to the waitress that realizes he's "somebody", by then everyone around was "somebody", the night was filled with those Hollywood stars fighting to pretend they don't like their fame. The girl brought us the menu but I already knew what I wanted. Ethan took a longer time to make up his mind.

-I don't know what I want...
-He doesn't know what he wants!
-I don't... Wait... Lady, what's this Orange Mocha all about?

As the girl explained everything to him I heard the noise of the world surrounding me. I had reached a quiet place in my head to realize what was happening. For the first time I was just enjoying myself and it reminded me of what that guy in front of me represented. Years back I had understood what my calling was by watching Dead Poets Society and now, so many years after that one Sunday afternoon I sobbed over Todd Anderson's O Captain! My Captain cry, that pretty boy was now sitting in front of me. Not an old man... Not an innocent either.

-Okay... I'll have that! Thank you! Now Iris, tell me! Why were you so sad by the pier?
-Mmm, I don't know. I'm always sad!
-Really?
-But you shouldn't be scared though!
-Oh, I shouldn't?
-Don't laugh... It's true! I'm a bit depressive I think... Nothing serious... I just had my third suicide attempt last summer but...
-WHAT!?
-I'm joking! I'm joking!
-Oh... For ONE moment I felt important!
-Why? Oh, my misery made you feel good? Oh, how nice!
-No! No, no!
-What then?
-Well, you promise not to laugh? I thought I had saved you!
-Oh! What a cutie... No, not your saving day!
-Well, i was so happy though...
-Be happy for something else!
-Yeah, I mean, I'm having a great time tonight, I must be happy for this!
-You should because I am.
-Really?
-Yes. I really am.

Our coffees were being served and his eyes were staring his hands, his outgrown boy's hands. His thick fingers were being compressed by his heavy look. I pondered for a moment about what he really wanted from me. I thought about that as if I was being watched by thousands of people in some channel exploiting reality TV in a new kind of weird way that I had no idea that was on tonight! "Maybe" I thought, "even Freddy's watching me right now and I'm the dumb ass being laughed at!". That was so not Ethan Hawke, anyway...

-What are you looking for?
-What? Me? Nothing!
-You're looking around, are you afraid of something? Is there anything bothering you?
-No, no, I'm fine. i just had this weird thought...
-What thought?

As he drank his coffee and looked at me over his giant cup I noticed his big boyish blue eyes searching for my girly eyes as well...

-Will you please not laugh?
-I definitely won't!

He was paying more attention to his coffee than my worries but I went on.

-Okay, I was thinking that I was being fooled by you, and that eventually a camera would pop out from behind the counter and a weird guy with a bad hairdo would scream and say I was being punked! Ha!

He started laughing and choked with some of the coffee he was having.

-Oh! That's why you were looking around! Were you searching for the perfect spot for a hidden camera? Nah... That' won't happen...
-You said you wouldn't laugh!
-How can't I!? Do you think that I would fall for that?
-Don't know...
-I'm not like that. Not that I recall but Ashton Kutcher isn't my friend and do you see something moving in your coffee? Something alive?
-Mmmm, nope!
-Than you're safe!
-Ah... good!
-But now tell me, are you suspicious about my intentions?

He frowned and waited for a different move... But then my cellular phone rang.
Ethan finished his coffee wiping the orange leftovers from the bottom of the mug as I answered. It was, after all, the only person that would call me late that night, Maddy.

-Hello!
-Hey girl! Where have you been!?
-Well, I've been at the pier, sweetie.
-Just hanging?
-Yep.
-You're too quiet to be just hanging.
-No! That's just what I've been doing...

As I talked to Maddy, Ethan would just sit there, cross his arms and watch me and that annoyed me. I stood up and walked away from our table, keeping him from hearing anything.

-So why are you whispering, girl?
-Maddy! Stop interrogating me, please...
-Don't be mad, Iris! It's just that...
-I'm not mad! I'm with Ethan Hawke right now!
-What?
-What you heard.

I looked behind my backs to see if he was still staring but as I layed my eyes upon him he turned his look away, making me more nervous.

-So I won't remind you that you have to pick up your father at the airport TONIGHT!
-What!
-Yeah, yeah... Got your car there?
-Yes I do! I had forgotten about that!
-So grab Mr. Hawke and take him with you.
-To see my dad?
-Yes!
-No!
-Why not, dear?
-Because it's ridiculous! How can I ask it from him?
-Well, he's with you now right?
-Yeah, but we're having coffee!
-Well, get a coffee by the airport.
-Why did you call me again?
-To remind you of that! You were not in home!
-Okay, then I must go now...
-Go!
-Thanks Maddy! Don't know what I'd do without you...
-Well, if you catch a piece of an Ethan Hawke hand-signed photograph, I'd be glad!
-Shut up! I'll hang up at you!
-Just go!Bye!
-Bye!

As I walked back Ethan was already paying our bill and my cheeks were blushed because of the talk I had with Maddy. I didn't want to go at that moment, but I also couldn't ask him to come with me. As I walked towards him, he took a hold of my limbs and brought me really close to him, making me stand there in shock for I didn't expect it and asked:

-Why were you so nervous at the phone?
-His face was so close to mine I couldn't even breath. Noticing that he let me go and smiled waiting for an answer.
-Well...
-You can speak now! Don't blush!
-No, it was my friend, Maddy, she's my neighbor. She reminded me of something I had to do!
-Are you leaving me already?
-Probably... Gotta get my dad at the airport.
-Oh! Where is he coming from? Brazil?
-No! He lives in Spain, actually. In Barcelona. We don't have a tight relationship.
-Oh, I can drive you there. Got my car here, somewhere...
-Got my car also. By the pier deck, in the parking lot.
-Okay then!
-But... But...
-What? If you don't want me to go just say so.
-It's not that, it's that I don't...
-Wanna bother me?
-Yeah, and I really got to go NOW!
-I won't be bothered if you don't!
-Really?
-Really! Don't have anything to do till next Sunday! My plane leaves Sunday...
-Okay then, let's go!
-Let's go.

We walked back to the pier deck to get my car and drove to the airport. My dad would be surprised I had a man with me. He'd be thunderstruck.

***